Keep MoonBall Alive!

First we have a near-defection from the ranks, now we're looking at the lowest turnout for the MoonBall Draft since we started having a Draft Central. Look, I realize that this is already turning out to be the worst MoonBall year yet, and the season hasn't even started, but the Draft is always the highlight: the comaraderie, the mockery, the endless pre- and post-draft analysis, the calm before the storm. Besides, you each have very compelling reasons why coming to Minnesota for the draft is an essential journey.

Knick33 - With the imminent arrival of a second child, Mariann and Sam need a chance to bond before he is usurped by the new addition. For you to stick around the house at this pivotal time in their mother-son relationship is just selfish. And if she does happen to go into labor while you're here, the wonders of video conferencing will make it seem like you're practically in the delivery room.

HP All-Stars - The Mayo Clinic has some of the finest care for head and spinal trauma in the world. And if you stay in the Meiers' lovely first-floor guest room, you won't have to contend with that treacherous modern convenience known as stairs.

CCK - You have a serious PR deficit to overcome. Not even bothering to draft your own team last year made you an outcast in our eyes. If you make the trip to Minnesota this year, we may actually ask you to be in the league again next year. Otherwise, no promises. And bring the whole family; we've never met your kids!

WeedBlazers - I know you have a scheduling conflict on Draft weekend. This isn't a threat, but it would be a shame if the rest of us had "scheduling conflicts" on the weekend of July 28, 2007. I'm just saying.

Ironwood Flash - If you fly Northwest, you can get a stopover in Detroit on the way back and join the World Series celebrations, Motor City style --- burning cars, looting, throwing beer at opposing players. Game 7 is October 29.

Rec Leaguers - Dude, the only way you're going to break the Layden streak is a change of scene on draft day. Drafting from Chicago will only ensure failure once again.

monkeyshoes - We were telling our daughter Madeline about who was and wasn't coming here for draft weekend, and when we explained that you weren't coming, she said: "Figures. That guy's a fucking pussy." You gonna let a two-and-a-half-year-old call you out like that?

Me-Wolves - Are you changing your team name to Me-Hate-the-Wolves or something? You won't even bother to come and support your so-called team, or at least stalk McHale and punch him in the face? It's disgraceful, really.

Angry Rabbis - I know that you are the only one making the trip to the Twin Cities --- and we thank you for that --- but I wanted to mention it as a reminder to everybody else that another benefit of coming to Minnesota is that they get to make fun of you in person. Not to be missed.

I think I've made my point. See you all on the 28th.