2/3rd's Review: Clown Car

With just under a third of the season to go, it is time to reflect on who’s gonna Kick Buttock down the home stretch, who’s bettin the bottom dollar that Tomorrow they’ll be the Suns and who’s riding a Clown Car on a detour to nowhere.

I broke teams in the three aforementioned categories, and then ordered the teams within each category. But lesser teams could be in a better category then a better team, or visa versa. For example, Minny, the Clippers, and Sacto are clearly in the Clown Car, despite their playoff hopes and veteran talents. Sure, all three teams are arguably better than some of the Tomorrow teams, but the weight of expectation and lack of franchise cohesion make them worse to this guy. Git it?

Clown Car

Hard to imagine putting the defending Champs in the clown car, but here they sit, comfortably in the driver’s seat. The Heat were built for last year like nobody’s business, and it all worked out. Now it is time to pay the piper. Sure, miracle of miracles, they could have staged an historic playoff run and defended their title, but who really thought that would happen? Shaq still has much pizzazz, but the product is down. With his huge contract and the lack of talent not named DWade, the Heat are in for tough times for the remainder of the Riley era.


For Minny, the season was over when McHale fired Dwayne Casey. Why McHale was not the one being shown papers is beyond me. By ruining this season, McHale essentially screwed KG yet again. I mean, Blount had a great couple months there and Ricky Davis has been his solid but erratic self, but that has been the extent of the help Kev got for KG . . . so if you are going to give him so little, at least give him consistency. Gawd. Foye’s emergence is nice, but I fear too little, too late.

The Clips were in trouble long before Livingston went down. Dunleavy has reported lost control of the pirate ship by the holidays, and carping from Maggette has been all over the papers. But most importantly, the Clippers have been able to stop no one down the stretch, which leads to loses and losing breeds discontent. Just desserts for a team owned by a bigot.

Sacto = Sucto. Trading in their high octane offense for a grinding game that benefits only one of their featured players, the Kings are clearly in Clownsville. Brad Miller has fallen off dramatically since Webber’s departure last season. Surrounded by a posse of under sized power forwards, Miller is not the banger the new Kings need. Bibby is another bad fit. Martin has been super. Wow! Who knew. But a larger question must be asked since the player the Kings' style favors is Artest: Are you really building round him?

New Jersey was killed by injuries. True that even with Jefferson and Krstic healthy, the Nets record was pretty damn mediocre. But without Jefferson and Krstic, the paper thin Nets are exposed as also-rans on a clown express train to Brooklyn. Kidd’s contract is huge and too long, and VC seems headed to Orlando via free agency. A shame the season went up in flames ‘cause even though they play for a ultimately sucky team, Vince Carter and Jason Kidd have played their asses off. I guess they could make a late season charge to the playoffs. But in the Least, what would that prove?

Still reverberating from the Iverson trade, Philly is clownin it up with a talented nucleus of Iguodala, Korver and Miller, but the rest of the crew is highly suspect. Certainly Philly could have handled the disintegration of the Iverson-Webber Sixers much, much better. But the root of that problem was the shallow talent base on the team. Dalembert is proving very disappointing. More changes needed.

Atlanta fills the clown car with a plethora of talented wing men and not much else. Sure, the Hawks have had their injuries too, but I do not see the plan for these guys. I know Joe Johnson is a really good player, but with all the praise going his way, you think his team could win a few more games. Same with Josh Smith for that matter. Marvin Williams is finally showing signs, and Dukie Sheldon seems like a solid back-up type. Hawk guard play is ultra weak, with no long term help in sight.

Charlotte is a weird one. On paper, they look so talented, yet the loses pile up like they have like every year in franchise history. Okafur puts up huge numbers, as does to a lesser extent Felton. Matt Carroll has been a great surprise. Maybe if May and Knight and Wallace had been healthy this whole year, the Bobcats would have been decent. Bet that’ll change next year. Clown car.


Memphis' record sucks, but the franchise avoided total disarray when they held on to Gasol. If and when the Griz get rid of Gasol, they had better get value, cause the Spaniard was arguably the best player in the World last summer, and he is just entering his prime. Mike Miller has had a nice season offensively, and Rudy Gay could be a very good player in the next season or two. But with an unhappy Gasol, and neither a real starting power forward or point guard, the Griz are riding the clown car.


Tossed from the clown car for unseemly suckitude, Boston lays bruised and beaten in the gutter, mubbling something about pride. There is some really talented young players in Boston, including some that are already some what proven. But losing friggin 18 in a row? Paul Pierce is awesome, everybody else is suspect. Bummer.