Secret Lives of the NBA

Now that Ironwood revealed my true identity to be Brad Miller, you shouldn't be surprised that all this great inside knowledge has brought success to the Red Black and Blue. Notice that I don't have any Kings on my roster? Precisely.

So here's a picture of me that didn't make it on the Christmas card. This is right after I dunked on Dikembe Mutombo. You can see Michelle there, she jumped up right afterward to start talking shit to him.


On the one hand I was really proud of her-- she's learned a whole lot more about the players and the NBA game. Notice how she's wagging her finger at Deke and ragging on him. Would she have done that even a year ago?

But I told her not to do it again. First, I didn't block his shot. And second, I'm just a little nervous about her getting too involved in my basketball career after being on a team with Mr. and Mrs. Christie.

But it's not just me. You may be interested to know that there are a couple other NBA personalities that lead secret lives, right under our noses.

For instance, before he became Agent Zero, Gilbert Arenas co-starred as Agent Ed Green on Law and Order. Ice-T must've told him it was a nice way to make a second career. But then Arenas caught on in Washington and the rest is history.


And our own Ricky Davis...well, he sings and raps alongside Big Boi as part of the sensational Grammy winning duo Outkast. I'm sorry Ms. Jackson, but it's true. That's why they're always playing Hey-ya at the Target Center, in addition to T-Hud's killa Shut-em down song.










And I asked my friend George Takei if it was okay to say this. I'm kind of outing him here...though I can't believe no one has noticed it before. Of course I'm talking about Matt Harpring, who spent 5 seasons starring as David Fisher on the hit HBO show Six Feet Under. I don't know how he found time to do it, what with Utah's injuries and all.

I just want you all to know, that even though he played a gay funeral director on TV, I still respect Harpring as a player. Whatever happens in his personal life, including the fictional sexual relationships of his TV persona is his own business. And we should respect that. For real.